If there is one thing I hate more since becoming a mom, besides laundry of course, it is how often I have to deal with a Mama Judgypants! I mean, who does this bitch think she is? I get it, when you become a mom, parenting is the one thing you have to learn how to do on your own. No proper training or college courses for it. You learn from books, what your parents taught you, watching and talking with other moms, and most of the time, you’re basically winging that shit! So naturally, we all do it differently!

I’m sure we can all remember a time when we’ve looked at another mom’s parenting approach and said (or at least thought) “oh! I would NEVER!” But there comes a point where you have to take off your judgypants and let other parents do what they do. If you can’t take off your judgypants at least long enough to discover that most of the mom’s you’re judging are actually excellent parents in their own way, then I hate you. And everyone else hates you too…except for maybe your judgypants friends – who are totally judging you behind your back!

I’ve come to find that not judging other people’s parenting techniques is the way to go. It’s so much more rewarding, and less bitchy, to be supportive of other moms instead of giving them dirty looks when their baby won’t stop screaming in the restaurant, even if he is screaming because he wants more dessert after he’s already had two and didn’t touch his dinner. You do not know the situation that led this mother to what she is currently dealing with. Perhaps the child is autistic, or perhaps she’s trying to change how she has dealt with her child in the past, to become a better parent, and is having a tough day at it. You don’t know! Even your subtle look of judgment will not help her to stay strong and be a better mother. She will most likely give in to her child’s screams to avoid death stares from the ones who should be having her back.

There are just so many more things in life to worry about than how other people are raising their tiny humans. I am fully accepting of the fact that it’s none of my business whether or not Suzy spanks her kids, or Kathy let her kid sleep in her bed until he’s 19 – ok that would be a little weird. I might judge that. But I would still totally heart Suzy and Kathy, even if I didn’t agree with, or understand, the weird shit they did! So, say it with me Mama Judgypants (you know who you are): IT’S NONE OF MY DAMN BUSINESS!

Now, I am definitely NOT saying we need to turn a blind eye to abuse or neglect! Don’t take this the wrong way! What I’m saying is that motherhood is hard enough without other people making us feel like we’re doing it all wrong! It’s very hard to spend time with, or get close to someone when you are constantly criticizing them. Even if you’re not verbalizing it, you are feeding the beast in your head and sabotaging potential friendships, and most moms know when they’re being judged. They can feel the chill in their bones. Take Elsa’s advice and just “let it go!” Don’t be so uptight!

Maybe it’s easier for me to say, because I now have a small army of mini clones, so my list of “mommy confessions” is getting longer, making it less likely for me to judge someone when I’ve probably got them beat in most situations, but it kills me when someone with one or two kids very obviously judges me when my situation is not even comparable to theirs! STOP IT!

Here’s just one of my “mommy confessions” (There will be another post about the rest of them later. You’re definitely going to want to stick around for that!): I put my baby’s carseat on the top part of the shopping cart when I grocery shop even though I know it’s a “no, no,” because where the hell else am I going to put all my shit?! You, Ms. Judgy McJudgerson, do not need to stop to tell me how dangerous it is while I’m trying to shop. I’m aware. I have assessed the risks, and I take precautions. Do not act all offended when I give you the “mind your own fucking business” look! You’re lucky that’s all you got!

Despite my horrible grocery cart irresponsibility, I have managed to keep my four little booger cakes alive and happy thus far. None of them have had a tragic shopping cart accident, and none of them are assholes! Well, maybe one, but three out of four is pretty damn good! She’s only a baby too, so there’s still time to fix that! And I GUARANTEE that every single mom in all the land has several of her own “mommy confessions!” You do too, Mama Judgypants! Think about that next time you are appalled by something another mom does.

So, what I’m saying is, it is ok for us to disagree with someone else’s parenting, and it’s ok to occasionally be a tiny bit judgy – we all will from time to time – but it’s not ok to make our opinions known with bitchy, judgy looks, comment on the situation, or to allow our judgments to get in the way of what could be great friendships. Go commando on the judgypants! I keep mine in the laundry basket, since is a dark abyss of doom anyway! The more accepting we are of other moms, the happier life will be, and the more kick ass women we will have in our corner when we find ourselves doing it all wrong, and I know there will come a time when we all will feel like we’re doing it wrong!! Ever notice that moms of teenagers rarely wear judgypants?  They know.